Inventory of shed - criminal profilers need not read on

1 Bicycle
1 Mower
1 Wheelbarrow
8 tins of emulsion with stupid name colours
6 tins of gloss which are almost certainly solid
14 empty plastic plant pots - no use to anybody
9 bamboo canes. I have no plans to make a tee-pee so, once again, no use to anybody
1 opened sack of peat -free compost, now devoid of all moisture
1 unopened bag of (what was) cement, which has managed to become concrete of its own accord.
1 puncture repair kit (no patches)
1 small bottle of chain oil
1 set of shears that no longer open
1 set of secateurs (as above)
1 old curtain (stained and faded)
1 length of rope, which until this moment I couldn’t think of a use for, but it may yet prove useful